The Art of Thank You.

Gratitude should not have seasonality to it however the time between Thanksgiving an d Christmas is punctuated with reminders more then any other season. As the wave of holiday asking, giving and receiving crests, I find myself thinking of my Marmee (my maternal grandmother), whose zealot like convictions about the value of a hand written thank you are engrained, deeply, in my personal and professional life.

I remember one winter morning sitting at my kitchen table with construction paper, glitter glue and colored pencils, my mother prepared the materials and sat me down to write thank you notes for holiday gifts. I don't remember exactly how old I was but I remember being miffed that I wasn't out playing in the snow. My mother explained the importance of thanking people for their generosity, when I continued to protest she handed me a blunky Sony portable phone and dialed Marmee.
My Marmee was born in 1919 and so spend her childhood living through The Great Depression. Her family was fairly well off but she watched others struggle and people who had little to give go out of there way for others.

If you are wondering, I sat down and wrote my thank you notes that day and many days since. In my professional life I encourage my clients to write a personal note for every gift they receive and I do the same when I am responsible for stewarding the gift.

I worked for a wonderful man early in career who, second to Marmee, had the greatest impact on affirming the value of thanks. In the competitive world of small nonprofits, taking a moment to acknowledge the people who make your organization run matters, it sets you apart. You don't need to shower donors or volunteers with lavish gifts, in fact many prefer you spend the money on your programs and avoid such things, but ALWAYS remember to say thank you.

Three rules I live by when it comes to gestures of appreciation

Be Timely.
If you attended a event or dinner, write a note or call the next day.
For gifts and donations you have a week or two window.

Respond Appropriately.
Different acts require different kinds of thanks. A holiday gift can be acknowledged with a nice card while being a house guest for a weekend might warrant a small gift. In business a $25 donation can be acknowledged graciously with a simple note to the donor while a $5,000 gift may call for a personal call, sending photos from a program or offering a personal visit.

Make it Personal. A generic thank you is not much better then no thank you at all.

*Note what I am about to suggest would not be sanctioned by my Marmee, who at 92, believes the internet is entirely useless and turning all of us into unrefined, ungracious drones.*

Personal doesn't mean time consuming. Talking with colleagues, clients and friends people often sight a lack of time as the reason they don't get around to saying thank you. While my Marmee believes you make time to write (and by write I mean pen out, not type) a thoughtful, personal note each time you wish to thank someone, I believe in using technology to make sure get our thank yous in.

Confession. I have texted several thank yous, in the case of an impromptu dinner with friends or after a rewarding meeting with a colleague. Texting is certainly not my preferred method of saying thanks but in a pitch, it lets people know you are thinking about them.

The semi-antiquated phone call. I actually do this quite often. It's really rare that someone calls me just to say thanks for something, when it happens it feels really special so I try to pass on the good will.

Paperless Post. Check out this site. I am not a big fan of email thank yous, I get hundreds of emails a day but the delivery of this e-greeting is top notch.

The Handwritten Note. It is still unrivaled. As a result of the barrage of email I get to four different email addresses daily, there is something warm and nostalgic about going to my post office box and finding a hand written card inside. Yup, they take a little longer then the options above but it's worth it. Here a few tips to make it easier...

Keep a supply of cards and stationary on hand.

Buy stamps. (Fun stamps, not the boring generic forever stamps)

Find a pen you love. (Sounds silly but writing with a crappy pen is well....)

Brussels Sprouts and Strategic Planning

I love food and I eat a lot. I find as much joy in the first ripe summer tomatoes as I do getting news of a $10,000 grant award or sending a new climbing project.

Our family has a CSA share with Alma Farm in Porter, Maine.

I get giddy when they send us an email, mid-winter, asking for our deposit for the next year and equally melancholy when I return our apple crate to the parking lot on Depot street and hug Geoff and Gina for the last time that season.

This year some wacky fall weather extended the growing season, for some regional farms, I have eeked out local produce for a few extra weeks by driving to Berlin, NH and Portland, Maine hitting up their farmers markets.

Yes I know full well if my intention in buying local was to reduce my carbon footprint, I’ve blown it. Carrying my canvas bag of apples, local bacon, squash and kale – I am ok with the duality.

Settling into this season of borrowed time …borrowed summer sunshine, waning moments for autumn color and fleeting opportunities to enjoy food grown in New England soil I felt a sudden urge to eat brussels sprouts. I LOVE everything about this contentious vegetable - its strength and elegance in the garden, the sound of snapping sprouts from the stalk, the smell of tasty halves roasting in the oven with sea salt and sage butter.

My husband remarked over dinner that he wrote off brussels sprouts years ago, avoided them at all cost as an adult, until he met me and consequently was thrust to face his disdain or risk telling his new love interest that he wouldn’t eat her cooking.

I don’t remember the first time brussels sprouts appeared in a dinner medley in our relationship but I imagine it was early on since I met Erik in September. It’s likely their very presence on his plate brought sweat to his brow but he never let on. Years later as the summer light fades and tomatoes are replaced by squash in our CSA he asks for them regularly.

Reminiscing with Erik about his transition from crafting creative ways to dispose of these pesky vegetables to falling in love with their flavor, seasonal presence and versatility resonated with another dimension of my life – strategic planning.

In the nonprofit sector the pharse Stategic Planning has earned itself a reputation strikingly similar to brussels sprouts. Consultants love it, recommend it and work tireless to convince leery staff and board members of its value. The nay sayers balk, squirm, devise pseudo legitimate reasons to continue their protest.

One of my clients began at the beginning with strategic planning citing in their protest that is was, too expense, too time consuming, the organization wasn’t ready for it. Three years ago their timidly allowed the process to make its way to their annual calendar. With careful framing, conscientious timing and diligent follow up they fell into love.

This year they actually came to me in September, they wanted to move the planning meeting up (typically held in January) so they could reflect on the last year’s success and get a jump on 2012 planning.

Pre work for the meeting was done without hesitation, attendance was top notch and board members left the meeting with a better understanding of their role, staff roles, the direction of the organization and fully charge for the coming year, Two weeks out from the meeting they are working in committee, asking great questions and full engaged to start the New Year.

If I sound like I am gloating, I am. It is easy to come up with reasons why you don’t like something, don’t want to do it. It’s natural to have a poor experience with something and write it off so when I see people state down their own fears and skepticism to try something new, I am deeply impressed.

So give brussels sprouts another go (check out this recipe) and find time for strategic planning.

Annual Appeals, Cake Balls, Rolfing, Opportunistic Climbing and The Greatest Compliment of All Time

The title about sums up the beginning of November in New Hampshire for me.
Here are a few musings from the first 11 days of this 11th month of 2011

Annual Appeals.
Children count down days until Christmas with intrigue and excitement. In my late twenties, as a nonprofit consultant, I count down weeks until the sacred ritual of the annual appeal mailing.

In many ways it's just like the twelve days of Christmas, only instead of drummers drumming and maids a milking you have letters writing, collateral material designing and board member signing to sing about.

When you are done your office looks just like the space below the tree after a morning of rapid present opening.



Cake Balls.
Apparently not to be confused with a doughnut hole, especially in front of the local bakery owner who prides herself on her chic french twist to pastries items such as the aforementioned doughnut hol...I mean cake ball. Give me a break, there is a striking visual similarity.

Yesterday, after my pastry guffaw I indulged in a delicious orb shaped, sprinkled colored pastry, delighting in every ounce of it's sugary, buttery goodness.

For those of you who know me peripherally you might gasp reading this because you are accustomed to my dinner spreads including local meats, whole grains and tasty leafy greens. For those of you who have known me a longer thank you for supporting the duality or hypocrisy of my sporadic, somewhat manic passion for doughnut holes, fried pickles and mini snickers.



Rolfing.
Obviously follows the rant on cake balls. My body needed a tune up. I have deep gratitude for the long hours it puts in running my business, followed by the pounding, spinning, Utkatasana - ing and throwing to tiny holds marathon it endures while I find balance between work and life. Thank you Kate McPhee for the tune up. If you live near the Mt. Washington Valley you need to check this women out.


Opportunistic Climbing
Love to my husband who took a day off mid-week to chase the last days of rock climbing season with me at Shagg Crag. To ice the cake - AT&T has cell coverage there so I was able to take took work calls between burns. Those are the best days of self-employment EVER.


Finally - The Best Compliment Ever
Just a little plug for a dear friend who I don't see often enough. She left be the best message of all time...

"Sasha, hearing from you is like an ice cream sundae with sprinkles and WAIT NO...you are better then that. Hearing from you is like....it's like...I KNOW.
Hearing from you is as good as bacon."

Happy November and Here's to Bacon.

Reviving the Exectuive Director Evaluation

In a few hours I will sit down to provide a new Executive Director (hired spring 2011) a performance review. I am a board member of the nonprofit run by this director. As part of my organizational service and because I believe in taking time for reflection, I will be in that room.

This week I don't have the time for this meeting. My plate is full of work from paying clients and personal commitments long overdue but I will be there. I was quite surprised at the lack of board participation when this topic came up on an agenda a few months ago.

Several follow up emails from the board president to collect feedback went virtually unanswered.

According to The Compass Points Daring to Lead Study, only 45% of nonprofit CEO's receive a performance review. A recent Board Source article sites a destructive paradigm that develops as a result, "Resentment comes from the executives, who are too often either resentful of the review process or even more likely and paradoxically, disgusted with the board for not conducting one."

Before writing off the review of an organization's Executive Director as another task on a long to do list consider the opportunity it presents for the entire organizations and your senior leadership. This review offers the strengthen the working relationship between the ED and board, build confidence in the organization, identify and address challenges in the overall program and praise your leadership team on jobs well done. In the day to day management of a nonprofit the opportunities to get a balcony perspective on things are rare and yet those are the opportunities for rich dialog and growth.

My challenge to board leaders is this: make the commitment to an annual review of your organization's Executive Director, breathe life into the process and look for the rewards it offers the organization.

Tips for Breathing New Life Into Executive Director Review Process

• Provide board members with a framework for feedback. For example, ask each member to provide three comments on the director's performance in the following areas of organizational competency - Leadership, Management, Planning and Assessment, Budgeting and finance, Fundraising, Marketing and Public Relations, Professional conduct

• Start the process with a written self-assessment from the Executive Director about their performance over the last year.

• Busy board? What about the board president sending a survey with an embedded rating system for each question. Survey Monkey is a terrific tool and offers a free version.

Remember to finish the review looking forward. This review isn't an isolated activity, it's part of a process. Come to the meeting with two to three performance objectives for the coming year, this builds the foundation for the conversation next year.

Learning to Learn

When I bought my first road bike, I remember staring in awe and terror at the clippless pedals before I had even handed over payment. I learned to ride a bike more then a decade before but the notion of clipping my feet to my bike while riding seemed impossibly foreign.

My first day on the bike I rode a total of ZERO miles, instead I asked my husband to patiently stand in the driveway, holding the bike steady as I practiced clipping in and out. Day two, I took the bike to a school yard and practiced on the grass before I hit road. Once on the road every intersection had me panicked, an opportunity to full system failure.

The first summer I owed the bike I road the 150 mile, two challenge - MS Bike to the Breakwater. I entered the race fully confident in my skills handling the bike and going the distance, I was on my game. The first day I rode conservatively but intentionally, fueling up at each available support station and finished the day feeling great. Day two I woke up feeling better then I could have imagined. I jumped on my bike and rode with confidence, charging town lines (a little sprint game I play with my husband) and smiling brightly as we past family and friends at the day's half way point. The final support station is 14 miles from the finish line, we pulled in to grab a quick snack before the final push, I was beaming. Still in conversation with one of the volunteers I went to get back on my bike - I clicked my right foot in at the bottom of the peddle stroke, stood up and fell over. Yup just like that - WACK - I was on the ground.

Three years later, I ride without thinking about my clippless pedals. Clipping in and out are ingrained. I am not longer a new learner.

Getting to this point took trust, practice and time. It took falling over in front of my friends, strangers and at inconvenient times. It took a willingness to be vulnerable, insecure and accept that failure isn't the end of the road.


This American Life Host, Ira Glass produced a wonderful piece about the process of learning, a reflection on his development as a story teller and learning curve with radio.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
http://transom.org/?p=6978





This lesson came up today in a conversation about new learners and social media. It might seem like a strange connection to make but all of the same emotional components I experienced on my bike, follow us in our personal and professional pursuits. We can choose to name them, bring attention to them, laugh about them and work through them or we can choose to ignore them and allow them to stop us from learning. I will continue to opt for the former and work to help my clients do the same, even if it means falling flat on my butt sometimes.

The Five P's.

This week has been looming in my icalendar for some time - new client meetings, lots of drive, a weekend of event planning. Before the calendar rolled into October I was prepared for this one to be a beast.

When I see these weeks coming I take extra time to get as much done in advance as I can. This may sound crazy but that includes proactively cleaning the house, freezing dinners and scheduling in blocks of time to exercise. After many of these weeks managed by gross consumption of Red Bull, whatever food happened to be in the office and intermittent bouts of sobbing a bathroom, I've learned how to pace myself.

There is however one variable that I can't solve for - other people.

Last night my cell rang, long after any reasonable definition of "business hours", even if we are talking - I'm on the east coast and you are calling from California, forgetting while you are still in the office, I am in my pj's drinking a glass of Pinot.

I let the phone go to voicemail. This is a huge step for me but an essential one for keeping my sanity, preserving sleep and my marriage.

It was dark out as I got ready to leave the house this morning to sneak in a hike, with my friend Wendy, before I dove into work. In the car headed to the trail, I listened to the voicemail.

In short the message was a semi-frantic cry for help from a collaborator who's piece of the puzzle was a mess days before the project deadline. I spilled the story to Wendy sighting the inquires I made over the last few weeks to check on the status of this piece of the project and the obtuse answers I received.

Wendy stopped me mid-sentence and said, "This is your week, poor planning on their part is not an emergency for you." (One of my all time favorite quotes). "And maybe you should share the five P's with them."

I immediately thought back to Kindergarten trying to recall the five P's, all I could come up with was a single P and three R's.

"I give up. What five P's?"

Her husband's five P's (a former Marine so also the US Military's five P's)

Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance

The situation is not quite right to share this advice with last night's caller but it is certainly worthwhile wisdom for your personal life, professional life and everything in between.

The Five P