The true cost of "picking your brian"?

I am fortunate to love what I do for work. When I began working with nonprofits the lines of work and pleasure melded into a beautiful gray. I was in my early twenties and boundaries were by my definition, always fluid.

Sometime in my late twenties I woke to realize that you can love your work and still be paid well for what you do. This realization launched a somewhat painful process of training myself to define boundaries and recognized a phase my husband coined when I was giving to much away " You are not a nonprofit!".

After all of that learning I still find I contend with the challenge of giving away my work some what regularly. Let me set the scene for you...

I arrive a birthday for my friend's three year old son, say my hellos and begin making small talk with another guest I've never met before. We exchange typical pleasantries and then we get to work. I share the story of starting my consultanting business and watch the eyes across from me light up. I barely eek much more then consulting, fundraising and nonprofits before my new friend is on an exuberant tear about the capital campaign the community center is looking to embark on and how much they could benefit from someone with my skills and really don't have the funds to hire the support.

The next ten minutes are a bit of blur - founder challenges, budget issues and then we get to the
punch line...

"You know, we should get coffee. I'd love to pick your brain about some of these details, do you have a card on you?"

And suddenly years of training, boundary setting and relearning is challenged in a single moment of brunch and birthday cake.

After investing hours, I developed specific approach to handle these situations.

When asked about “picking my brain” I typically stop people mid sentence and tell them about a group of my colleagues (who are fabulous) who get together once a month or so to share ideas. Everyone comes to the event with something to share on the topic of that meeting (new idea, tool they want to learn, issue they are wrestling with etc). Each of the participants shares and is present to listen and give feedback.

Those who are in it for the wrong reasons have lots of excuses for why they can’t possibly make that work …that’s my cue to encourage them to be in touch when they have time and start their research on a few great websites for nonprofits.

People who are genuine and committed get excited about the idea and are willing to invest their time to help others and themselves. Even if they can’t make the group event I will take time with them because they passed my investment test.

How much time do you budget for "brainstorming"? How do you decide which projects are worth your time at no cost?