The Art of Thank You.

Gratitude should not have seasonality to it however the time between Thanksgiving an d Christmas is punctuated with reminders more then any other season. As the wave of holiday asking, giving and receiving crests, I find myself thinking of my Marmee (my maternal grandmother), whose zealot like convictions about the value of a hand written thank you are engrained, deeply, in my personal and professional life.

I remember one winter morning sitting at my kitchen table with construction paper, glitter glue and colored pencils, my mother prepared the materials and sat me down to write thank you notes for holiday gifts. I don't remember exactly how old I was but I remember being miffed that I wasn't out playing in the snow. My mother explained the importance of thanking people for their generosity, when I continued to protest she handed me a blunky Sony portable phone and dialed Marmee.
My Marmee was born in 1919 and so spend her childhood living through The Great Depression. Her family was fairly well off but she watched others struggle and people who had little to give go out of there way for others.

If you are wondering, I sat down and wrote my thank you notes that day and many days since. In my professional life I encourage my clients to write a personal note for every gift they receive and I do the same when I am responsible for stewarding the gift.

I worked for a wonderful man early in career who, second to Marmee, had the greatest impact on affirming the value of thanks. In the competitive world of small nonprofits, taking a moment to acknowledge the people who make your organization run matters, it sets you apart. You don't need to shower donors or volunteers with lavish gifts, in fact many prefer you spend the money on your programs and avoid such things, but ALWAYS remember to say thank you.

Three rules I live by when it comes to gestures of appreciation

Be Timely.
If you attended a event or dinner, write a note or call the next day.
For gifts and donations you have a week or two window.

Respond Appropriately.
Different acts require different kinds of thanks. A holiday gift can be acknowledged with a nice card while being a house guest for a weekend might warrant a small gift. In business a $25 donation can be acknowledged graciously with a simple note to the donor while a $5,000 gift may call for a personal call, sending photos from a program or offering a personal visit.

Make it Personal. A generic thank you is not much better then no thank you at all.

*Note what I am about to suggest would not be sanctioned by my Marmee, who at 92, believes the internet is entirely useless and turning all of us into unrefined, ungracious drones.*

Personal doesn't mean time consuming. Talking with colleagues, clients and friends people often sight a lack of time as the reason they don't get around to saying thank you. While my Marmee believes you make time to write (and by write I mean pen out, not type) a thoughtful, personal note each time you wish to thank someone, I believe in using technology to make sure get our thank yous in.

Confession. I have texted several thank yous, in the case of an impromptu dinner with friends or after a rewarding meeting with a colleague. Texting is certainly not my preferred method of saying thanks but in a pitch, it lets people know you are thinking about them.

The semi-antiquated phone call. I actually do this quite often. It's really rare that someone calls me just to say thanks for something, when it happens it feels really special so I try to pass on the good will.

Paperless Post. Check out this site. I am not a big fan of email thank yous, I get hundreds of emails a day but the delivery of this e-greeting is top notch.

The Handwritten Note. It is still unrivaled. As a result of the barrage of email I get to four different email addresses daily, there is something warm and nostalgic about going to my post office box and finding a hand written card inside. Yup, they take a little longer then the options above but it's worth it. Here a few tips to make it easier...

Keep a supply of cards and stationary on hand.

Buy stamps. (Fun stamps, not the boring generic forever stamps)

Find a pen you love. (Sounds silly but writing with a crappy pen is well....)