The true cost of "picking your brian"?

I am fortunate to love what I do for work. When I began working with nonprofits the lines of work and pleasure melded into a beautiful gray. I was in my early twenties and boundaries were by my definition, always fluid.

Sometime in my late twenties I woke to realize that you can love your work and still be paid well for what you do. This realization launched a somewhat painful process of training myself to define boundaries and recognized a phase my husband coined when I was giving to much away " You are not a nonprofit!".

After all of that learning I still find I contend with the challenge of giving away my work some what regularly. Let me set the scene for you...

I arrive a birthday for my friend's three year old son, say my hellos and begin making small talk with another guest I've never met before. We exchange typical pleasantries and then we get to work. I share the story of starting my consultanting business and watch the eyes across from me light up. I barely eek much more then consulting, fundraising and nonprofits before my new friend is on an exuberant tear about the capital campaign the community center is looking to embark on and how much they could benefit from someone with my skills and really don't have the funds to hire the support.

The next ten minutes are a bit of blur - founder challenges, budget issues and then we get to the
punch line...

"You know, we should get coffee. I'd love to pick your brain about some of these details, do you have a card on you?"

And suddenly years of training, boundary setting and relearning is challenged in a single moment of brunch and birthday cake.

After investing hours, I developed specific approach to handle these situations.

When asked about “picking my brain” I typically stop people mid sentence and tell them about a group of my colleagues (who are fabulous) who get together once a month or so to share ideas. Everyone comes to the event with something to share on the topic of that meeting (new idea, tool they want to learn, issue they are wrestling with etc). Each of the participants shares and is present to listen and give feedback.

Those who are in it for the wrong reasons have lots of excuses for why they can’t possibly make that work …that’s my cue to encourage them to be in touch when they have time and start their research on a few great websites for nonprofits.

People who are genuine and committed get excited about the idea and are willing to invest their time to help others and themselves. Even if they can’t make the group event I will take time with them because they passed my investment test.

How much time do you budget for "brainstorming"? How do you decide which projects are worth your time at no cost?

Being Epic

The planning for Epicman is underway, this will be the third year my friend's Will and Seth have embarked on an adventure most people find unfathomable. Shortly after watching a video clip from their newest "EpicFriend" Flip I got a holiday email detailing the 2010 adventures of another friend of mine.

Confession, I hate holiday letters written in the third person which detail accounts of people's lives you would know about if you spend time with them and you don't need to know about if you don't...

But I read on. I smiled through my cynicism after reading detailed accounts of all of the islands they paddled their kayaks to this summer and their plan for 2011. Why?

I gave up the Grinch after realizing the true value in Epicman. The brand "Epicman" is not about the jaw-dropping feat slated for 4/19/11 and it isn't about paddling to and island, it is about finding something that asked you to challenge yourself to be better then you thought you could be.

Maybe that crux is riding waves in the winter; climbing technical rock faces; 24 hours of sun salutations; an ultra-run.... or maybe that crux is finding the courage to get on your bike after an injury; trusting adaptive skis when you can't walk or just following that feeling you get when know you are about to do something extraordinary.

Whatever it is for you - go find it. Live it. Be Epic.

Travel induced food hoarding.

My alarm is set for eight hours from now. Our journey to Lima will happen in two flights. There are climbing plans to finalize, gear to double check, away messages to activate and my biggest concern is food.

Once upon a time airlines fed you while you traveled in their care. I learned from a savy childhood friend, on a surf trip to Mexico, if you tell them you are vegan you get great food. Turns out she was right; yogurt and granola, real cheese and crackers, cereal with soy milk...seriously!

Some years later my husband and I left Boston on separate flights to San Fransisco, to climb in Yosemite, I arrived first and headed straight for food. My flight left at the crack of dawn and it was sometime after three eastern time when we arrived, I had pretzels and ginger ale on the flight.

Apparently my meager in-flight offerings were luxurious, Erik arrived sweaty, eyes glazed, almost unable to speak, apparently he was offered only water on his seven plus hour Alaska Air flight.

I am convinced this experience changed me. I confess I have become a travel induced food hoarder.

The carry-on contents for tomorrow's departure include the following:

Spelt Bagels with tofu cream cheese (2)
Sweet and salty granola bards (4)
Individual hummus and cracker packs (4)
Organic fruit leathers (4)
Nectarines (3)
Baby Bella Cheeses (2)
Soy rice crisps (1 bag divided into two zip locks)
C Boost Smoothie 16 oz (1 for pre flight chugging)
Emergen-C packets (10)
Salted almonds (1/2 pound)

I can get through long layovers, delayed or canceled flights, crying children, obnoxious seat mates with the right sustenance. If you run your travel days on plastic cups of diet soda and mini bags of pretzels, try this once but caution it is habit forming.

Happy Birthday to Me

28 years old! I've spent the weekend doing all the things I love with a menagerie of friends who I am inspired by, in awe of and grateful for everyday.

This is my first blog posting in over three months...sounds like confessional right?
I feel a bit like that this morning. Honestly, I have felt like that on many birthday morning. I look at birthdays as the ultimate time for reflection and opportunity to launch an exploration of what is possible.

In my early twenties I made a habit of writing myself a letter the evening before my birthday and saving it to open on the next birthday. The letters often talked about the place I was at the time I wrote them, where I hoped to be and what commitments I would make to myself over the coming year. There was something about sealing the envelope and tucking into a file box along side my birth certificate and passport that gave it tremendous weight.

I don't recall why or when exactly I stopped writing myself birthday letters but I did. This morning I woke up compelled to return to the process. So before I jump on my bike for an endless birthday ride in the sun I am going to write myself a letter, sign it, seal it and tuck it away until next year.

The Call of Benefits and a Steady Paycheck

This morning I walked my dog along the sandy banks of the Saco River and sipped a cup of tea before heading to the office.

Sometime in the early afternoon I will leave the office for an hour or two to complete today’s portion of my twelve-week triathlon-training program. When I return to the office I may bring my laptop to the table on the porch and throw the ball for the beloved Boston Terrier as I work on logistics for an upcoming event I am coordinating.

I work for myself and regularly forget the decadence of a morning like the one I described. The details of that day get lost in the less appealing aspects of self-employment.

On the days when the balance is shifted in the other direction, I may drive 300 + miles, clock 14 hour day, sleep in bed that isn’t my own and answer emails from the front seat of my car. My head will fill with worries about getting it all done, paying my health insurance, growing the business too fast or not growing at all.

On those days the cry of a consistent paycheck, a benefits package and the hum of a typical schedule is deafening. Those are the days that have reduced me to a puddle of tears more then once.

I don’t think this struggle goes away when you work for yourself. There are always going to be well paying jobs with a benefits package and a regular schedule to raise the question of whether the good days are valuable enough to persist when the hours are long, the future is uncertain and you feel like you are working alone.

Recently I was riding my bike with friend and mentor**. As we made our way up a steep climb the voice in my head escaped for a moment, “Urgh, this hurts!”

He calmly looked at me and asked, “Uncomfortable or unbearable?”
I thought for a moment. “Uncomfortable.” I answered
“Good,” he replied firmly “keep peddling.”

**Thanks to PD who is 20 years my senior, has the cadence of a hummingbird, the legs to out-sprint me and wisdom that extends beyond the bicycle.

Why Not India?

I wonder if at some point the shock of snow in mid-April will wear off. When you live in Northern New Hampshire 3 – 5 inches of cement falling from the sky apparently often follows 75-degree days in early spring.

Shortly after dawn this morning I left my house, battled the weather and drove South to a conference in Manchester, NH. Harvard professor and nonprofit consultant Cathy Trower gave an animated, comprehensive and digestible workshop, Governance as Leadership, for nonprofit leaders and board members.

During the 6 hours workshop I filled page after page in my black moleskin notebook. In the margins I jotted books to purchase, timeless quotes on leadership and planned future board meeting agendas. One particular line of questioning stayed with me as left for the day. “Why this board?” Meaning would the impact on the organization be the same or similar if you swapped board with another organization? What makes this group especially poised to do the work in front of them? What if you exchanged just a few members – in this case does the question become why me? Why I am I an integral part of this board? What is the legacy of this group? Of each individual member?

All nonprofit organizations are governed by a board of directors, who are stewards of the organizations assets and generators of policies which guide the strategic direction of the organization. Board members donate time, their professional talents and financial resources to further the work of the organization.

Competent, committed, passionate board members are not easy to come by. I doubt there are many if any organizations that have a stream of potential members banging down their door. When you have a group of decided members in place an organization should consider it a job well done, right?

Assembling a group of people of willing stewards for an organization who show up for meetings but can not offer a compelling answer to the previous question does not inspire hope for bright future.

I dissected these questions and the implications of various answers as Oliver Wyman read Thomas Friedman’s 3.0 update of The World is Flat on my drive home.

Wyman, reading Friedman, spends at least the first three cds of the audiobook discussing the “flattening” of the world with a particular focus on the outsourcing of jobs to places like Bangalore, India. The jobs referenced are low level jobs by American standards but as technology and the drive of workers to raise themselves out of poverty increases more jobs are headed out of the US to places like China and India.

Listening to transcripts from the day Friedman spent in a call center in India something clicked. The men and women working at this call center clock epic hours doing thankless work. In the face of irate passengers with lost luggage, dissatisfied customers and disgruntled cardholders they maintain a positive attitude and commitment to excellent service.

Why these employees? They are committed to raising the standard of living for themselves and their families. Their passion for this achievement gives them reason to find a kind word in the face of slander, tolerance in the intolerable and ultimately is part of the reason this job market continues to grow.

It was almost dark when I drove the last three miles to my house. The drive home took almost 4 hours. I shut my car off still thinking about myself as a professional and as a board member.

I decided if I don’t want my job or board tenure outsourced, I should regularly ask myself, Why me? What is the legacy of the board that I serve on?

Doing good well wants to get even better: Graduate school? MBA? Experience? A round the world trip?

When I graduated from college and began work in the nonprofit sector,
I fell in the love with fundraising. There is something about the magic of connecting a conscientious philanthropist with a chance to make a difference and watching their eyes light up when they realize in their own way the are literally changing the world, that makes me want to work harder.

In 2008 I broke out on my own to start a consulting business. The venture presented an opportunity to broaden my experience of nonprofit operations, the challenges facing the industry and deepen my understanding of what motivates individuals and corporations to give.

Two years in to the adventure of working for myself, I work for the toughest boss in my career, enjoy the benefits of a flexible schedule and explore the challenges and successes of the industry through the lens of a diverse body of clients. Life is grand.

Still, the stickies application on my laptop is littered with links to graduate programs, fellowships and national organizations I occasionally fantasize about working for.

My dearest childhood friend is a business analyst for Fidelity. He has a formula for how much time should be spend on work, professional development and prospecting.

According to his formula my seemingly schizophrenic digital post-its are nothing more then a routine piece of my professional practice.

The personal narrative the stickies, reveal is unique only in it is my short hand, the content of the links and specific high education institutions reflect my interests. The story is more universal, forces questions about which paths or combination of experiences will make each of us the competent, vibrant, dynamic professionals we strive to be.


Ask any mentor, teacher, family member or trusted colleague about the value of an MBA over experience or vice-versa, the best time to pursue your passions over a rigorous ladder climbing professional tract and each will have an answer they are certain is the right one.

I visit the stickies with regularity, often after a trip, breakthrough in my professional development or during times of frustration. Looking deep into the montage I try to read the notes like taro cards.

It took a trip to Joshua Tree, an hour of solitude in the desert and two years of convincing myself it was the right thing to do, to take the leap to work for myself. I am not looking to rush the next step. I look forward to moment when I look into the stickies or more likely out into the world and recognize the next move.

Paying to Volunteer?

For almost a decade my personal and professional life has connected with the social sector as a volunteer, a employee and consultant.

Philanthropy and volunteerism were household words during my childhood. Pet charities, interesting board dilemmas and challenging socio-political questions continue to find their way to the dinner table at family gatherings.

My mother and one of her sisters recently approached me to join them on a week long volunteer service trip. My aunt has been on several trips with the organizers of the trip and speaks highly of the work they do across the US and internationally.

I love to travel, I love adventure and at 27 it is due time I put in some quality time with my mother so I dove into the website to learn about the trip and complete my application.

I expected a financial contribution was part of the commitment to participate but never expected to pay $975 for a five-day volunteer program in the U.S.

As a point of contrast I am going to Peru for three weeks the coming summer. I will spend the first week rock climbing, the second volunteering and taking language classes. The entire trip including airfare will cost less then this 5 day volunteer excursion.

So why does it cost $975 to help a community in need in your own country? I know some of the answers to the question having worked in the nonprofit sector but I continue to ask:

Is it worth it for these communities?

Is there a better way to connect professionals and individuals eager to help the less fortunate with opportunities to do good well?

A full assessment of the experience will follow …October 2010.